I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
