Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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