literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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