Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
