I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
