Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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