I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
