are you still at the devil's house?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
