i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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