The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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