This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
