this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
