6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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