Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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