I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she woke up with a sticky ear
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
