The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
