Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i think i just lost a toe
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
