Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
