sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
