he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
