i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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