Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
