I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
