she was so not down for the gang bang
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize