I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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