He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
