Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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