I look better un-naked...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
