i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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