Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
