This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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