What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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