I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
