So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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