google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
