If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize