Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
