i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
