He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
