just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
