It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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