Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize