as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
