It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
