She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i think i just lost a toe
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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