You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
