Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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