I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
