we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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