Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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