i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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