Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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