lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize