Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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