I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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