i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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