Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
