you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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