at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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