she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
