I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
